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  1. #1
    Scrapper Sheri's Avatar
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    After my last pregnancy I stayed home for My 8 weeks maternity leave and we was in a position to where I could take the FMLA, so I would still be able to go back to my job of 16 years as a full time retail mgr. It's getting close time for me to go back and my hubby is really pushing for me to stay home, due to the cost of daycare and how it will eat up the majority of my paycheck anyways....All I've ever know was work and now I'm up in the air as to what to do. If I don't go backthen I'll lose everything that i've worked for, but on the other hand, children grow so fast that I missed so much already with my 2 and 1/2 year old son, by working and allowing others to raise him. Is being a SAHM a safe choice with the economy as it is today....HELP!!! I want all and any advice both pros and cons....Many TIA for any advice all you wonderful SAHM can provide and I would also appreciate advice even if ur not a SAHM, cause u also can give advice that could be helpful.
    Come visit my blog.... Highlandeyes

  2. #2
    Senior Scrapper laurat99's Avatar
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    Sheri, I'm sorry that it's a hard decision for you--men don't have this problem!
    I've been a SAHM for 5 years, since I was 7 months along with my oldest. DH and I both thought it would be best for our family for me to stay home (he's active duty Air Force). At that point we were out of debt and moving to a new area, so it was really easy in my case.
    For you, I would sit down with DH and do a costs/benefits analysis, both money and family wise. Lots of guys want the extra income, but don't want to pitch in on the family stuff, or get upset when it isn't done (cleaning, laundry, dinner, etc.) You shouldn't have to work all day outside the home, then come home and work another 4 hours at home. If most of your paycheck is to daycare, would it be better to not have the gas, clothes, meals out (lunch with the office or dinner from the drive-thru 'cause your too tired to cook, etc) added on? If you have a good background in retail, you can use that to get an as-good or better job when you are ready.
    That being said, you can't pay anyone to take as good care of your children as you can. Some folks HAVE to work and use day care. Others make a decision to not have new electronic gizmos, cable tv, drive an older car, coolest SB stuff, or brand new clothes for thier kids. Follow your heart, but make sure DH is on board either way, because you are in it together. Or, if being home with kids (even your own) makes you batty, go back to work. Let us know what you decide.
    Laura

  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    This is a decision only you and your hubby can make. For me, I don't work because I would pay daycare all day for one child and several more hours a day for two more children. Summertime, full time daycare for three kids. It's not worth it for me. All of my paycheck would be gone just to have someone else raise my children for me. It is rough financially. I don't get to go and buy all these new gizmo's and gadgets, have my hair done, have my nails done, you get the idea. As a matter of fact, if it's not on sale I don't buy it. BUT, I still wouldn't trade it for the world. I like to be able to be the one taking care of my kids. I like to be able to go to the school parties and field trips. I like to be able to volunteer my time for my sons' Cub Scout pack. I like to have the time to cook a good, full meal everynight of the week. Good luck with your decision.
    Cindy
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    www.marykay.com/cynthiaalarcon

  4. #4
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Sheri, I was both a working mom and a SAHM, so there are several more points to look at. At some point in your discussions with DH look at the long point. Is DH in a job that layoffs are unlikely? Can you afford life ins for you if you don't go back to work? Will you return to work, maybe when the kids are in school full time? What about retirement for you? I know these are very long time questions, but as you get older, they will become very important to you. I worked for Social Security for years and saw some very sad situations, because a decision was made with out all the questions answered. Which one of you carries the insurance for the family? I enjoyed being a stay at home mom, but it drastically cut into the amount I am now receiving from Social Security. I'm not trying to talk you out of being a SAHM, just giving you a few more questions to think about.

    If being a fulltime SAHM won't work, maybe you could go part-time for a period of time. When I went back to work, my DH and I worked different shifts so we solved the childcare problem until the oldest DD was of an age to be at home with the others for an hour or two, plus I was 10 minutes from home and DH was 15.

    Hope everything all of us has said helps and doesn't make you more confused about what you want to do.
    Judith

  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper AVONCHICK's Avatar
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    Sheri.
    Like everyone else said you really need to weigh out the pros and cons and see where you are financially. When my Husband and I bought our house i was 8 months pregnant with my son, we had the mortgaged based on his salary alone so that i could stay home to raise my son and if i wanted to go back to work that income would be extra. I did go back to work Part-Time for some time, until my daughter arrived, since then i've been a SAHM. for a little while i was able to find a data entry job that allowed me to stay home while collecting a full time paycheck. You may want to consider looking into anything like that in your area. Eventually i left that (got kinda tired of being on the computer all the time...Now i just do that for fun and no pay.LOL) but was so used to have the extra pocket money to do things with the kids i took on selling avon. There are soo many different oppts out there that allow you to make $$ and still be able to be home for the kids, you just have to find what is right for you, whether it be Go Back to Work, Stay Home, Or even Work from home. Good luck in whatever you choose.

  6. #6
    Scrapper Sheri's Avatar
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    Thank u much for all your input...I know I need to weigh the finance and especially the long term burden it may put on us, My oldest son is a special needs child and up until july of this year his daycare and therapy was paid for by the state, but due to lack of funding we'll be paying for him plus my newborn in july, so that's one of our biggest finance payouts that we our wanting to avoid, but I am scared to death to quit and then down the road have to start from scratch....I appreciate your all's advice...I will keep ya'll informed on my decision....thanks again
    Come visit my blog.... Highlandeyes

  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper Baseballmom's Avatar
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    Hope you don't mind an old lady throwing her two cents in. My son is now 20 and I was a stay at home Mom for years! I finally went back to work, I teach, when he was 11. I went about being a SAHM the same way I went about going to work. It was my job and I was determined to do it right. I mapped out my days, my errands, my housework, everything. Of course, with a child things didn't always ran smoothly (and I didn't mind it) but at least I had a plan to make myself feel like I was in control. I'm very ADHD and I have to map things out or I get totally out of control. My DH was very supportive and that really helped. Financially, he had a wonderful job and money was not really an issue. I still was very thrifty, but I've never been a huge spender. I LOVE A GOOD SALE, my DH swears it is "the thrill of the hunt". We decided before the baby was born how much things would cost, day care, clothes, travel, etc. and really found that the expenses were too close to my actual take home salary. The fact was I wanted to be with my son and now I'm so glad I did. Be careful, my volunteering got totally out of hand for a while (I find it hard to say NO) and I had to get a grip on it, but once that was under control, I enjoyed every minute I spent at home. Talk to your DH and be honest, what is important and right to the 2 of you is really what matters.


  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    After my son was born (over 14 years ago), I only stayed home with him for 6 weeks (very sad for me) before going back to work. We were very fortunate to find a woman and mother of 5, who ran a daycare out of her home close by our home. She was wonderful and we still keep in touch to this day.

    Personally, as much as I would have loved to stay home with my son prior to him starting school, I would have gone stir crazy being at home all the time. I enjoy working (most of the time) and there are times that I would rather be at home, especially when work is slow then at work - I do have things to do outside of work...imagine that.

    While my son was in elementary school, I was able to attend most school parties/functions and help out. I just made up the time.

    Fortunately again, I work for a boss (the past 4+ years) who also has three kids and is a firm believer in being there for your kids for school events, awards ceremonies and sports activities. When my son has an event I need/want to attend, I again work through my lunch to make up some of the time. My boss knows that when I am at work and there is work to be done, I try to keep up with his work that he gives to me. There are times he tells me to go ahead and leave early for the heck of it, however, if I have work to do, I won't leave, because I will just be that much further behind.

    I know this doesn't answer your question and it shouldn't, because I agree with everyone else, its a personal decision.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
    bonnie


  9. #9
    Scrapper Sheri's Avatar
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    I appreciate everyones imput....You all are great....it's a BIG decision and it's still up in the air as to what I will eventually decide. Children grow so fast and we miss so much....It's frustrating to think we pay others to raise our children and then they're all grown up and we've missed out on most of it....My job and boss is defiantly NOT family oriented (NO KIDS OF HIS OWN) , so all the dr appt. and missed work due to that and possible sick days, would lead to him getting upset and by no meand being understanding, I've seen it done to the other mothers that work there....So i'm still weighing pros and cons ...I do greatly appreciate u ALL and all advice you all take the time to give, I promise to keep you guys informed as to what I eventually decided.
    Come visit my blog.... Highlandeyes

  10. #10
    Scrapper Heather S's Avatar
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    My problem was solved by me staying home with my children, I have a family daycare in my home. I certainly know not everyone can or wants to do my job but it was a way to get what I wanted, and I still pay into SS every year. I also work as back up partime at a local scrapbook store, I don't bring home any money from that job, imagine that! I have loved staying home with my kids and wouldn't change a thing. Good luck in whatever you decide is right for your family.


 

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