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  1. #1
    Scrapper
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    I have no idea where to even begin. These past two months have probably been some of the most traumatic in my life.

    After 10 years of marriage and 2 beautiful girls, my husband and I have decided it's time for a divorce. This painful decision comes after he confessed to having an affair with my "best friend" since April. He says he is in love with her and she tells me the same.

    I have gone from every imaginable mood in the world. I can feel myself drifting to a deep dark place at times (anger, rage); then other times I reason with myself that I couldn't have picked a better "step-mom" figure for my children.

    I can't seem to keep my head above water. I have to drag myself out of bed each day. My doctor just diagnosed me with depression and wants me to take a prescription. He has prescribed xanax for my severe anxiety attacks and Effexor to help the depression. Although I have had the prescriptions for almost 2 weeks, I have yet to have them filled.

    I keep asking myself so many questions.... Why? How did this happen? What did I do? What shall we tell our children? Is this my fault? Did I drive him away? You know what really stinks is, I saw all the signs and knew this was coming; perhaps I simply chose to ignore it.

    I know this is sooooo long and boring, but I needed to vent and get some feelings off my chest. It's not like I can talk to my best friend anymore about these things!! LOL (At least I still have a moderate sense of humor).

    I wasn't writing this for a pity party or anything, it was really more for myself. But, also to let those of you who know me and have swapped with me in the past aware of the situation. Simply because, I have been tardy on a few swaps this past month or two and now you know why. Again like I said, those of you who have swapped with me before know that I am always punctual and I take pride in my swap materials. Those of you who don't know me so well, I hope that others can vouch for me, and please understand I am not one to commit and not follow thru.

    Thank you all for listening and blessings to all.

    Myra

  2. #2
    Scrapper
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    I have no idea where to even begin. These past two months have probably been some of the most traumatic in my life.

    After 10 years of marriage and 2 beautiful girls, my husband and I have decided it's time for a divorce. This painful decision comes after he confessed to having an affair with my "best friend" since April. He says he is in love with her and she tells me the same.

    I have gone from every imaginable mood in the world. I can feel myself drifting to a deep dark place at times (anger, rage); then other times I reason with myself that I couldn't have picked a better "step-mom" figure for my children.

    I can't seem to keep my head above water. I have to drag myself out of bed each day. My doctor just diagnosed me with depression and wants me to take a prescription. He has prescribed xanax for my severe anxiety attacks and Effexor to help the depression. Although I have had the prescriptions for almost 2 weeks, I have yet to have them filled.

    I keep asking myself so many questions.... Why? How did this happen? What did I do? What shall we tell our children? Is this my fault? Did I drive him away? You know what really stinks is, I saw all the signs and knew this was coming; perhaps I simply chose to ignore it.

    I know this is sooooo long and boring, but I needed to vent and get some feelings off my chest. It's not like I can talk to my best friend anymore about these things!! LOL (At least I still have a moderate sense of humor).

    I wasn't writing this for a pity party or anything, it was really more for myself. But, also to let those of you who know me and have swapped with me in the past aware of the situation. Simply because, I have been tardy on a few swaps this past month or two and now you know why. Again like I said, those of you who have swapped with me before know that I am always punctual and I take pride in my swap materials. Those of you who don't know me so well, I hope that others can vouch for me, and please understand I am not one to commit and not follow thru.

    Thank you all for listening and blessings to all.

    Myra

  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    Myra - I am sorry the past few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions for you and rightly so. How difficult it must be for your best friend to also be involved in this situation, something you never could have imagined in your wildest dreams.

    Although I am also divorced from my first husband after 10 years of marriage and have a wonderful son born of that relationship, I do not for one moment regret that I initiated the divorce (for various reasons) several years ago. Divorce can be painful, especially if you weren't expecting your marriage to ever get to the point where it would be dissolving.

    Just know that you can still find happiness within yourself through tough times.

    You are in my thoughts and best of luck to you. Your SAS friend's will support you.

    Hugs to you,
    bonnie


  4. #4
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Myra,

    I've been there. The most important thing for you to remember is to keep as much as you can on an even keel for your lovely daughters. You are hurting, but they will hurt more, as they will think it is something that they did. And they will feel as if their love for each of you is being torn.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. I can understand about your not wanting to take the meds. You need to discuss this with your doctor and if you still feel that way, ask about alternative methods of getting a handle on you problems.

    This is a good place to vent. Everyone on this board has some kind of problem and the Ladies here are some of the most supportive I've ever met. I'm sure there will be a lot of helpful suggestions from those who have experienced the same. I hope we are able to help you in some small way.

    You will survive this even though at this point it seems impossible. I did and went on to find the greatest love of my life. Don't put youself down because of it. Remember it takes two to make or break a marriage. There is as much 'fault' on his side also. You are not a 'bad' or unworthy person. And this does not make you one.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. It is not something I would wish on anyone. As you deal with this you will begin to realize just what a strong woman you are. Remember, you can count on us. We are here to help.
    Judith

  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    Myra, it's all going to end up being ok. It will take time though. I have almost been where you are, but hubby and I worked through it, somehow, with the grace of God. Sometimes I think that was even harder. Hey, at least he's not living with you while you try to work through those feelings . We're all here for you, whenver you need to vent or talk. In the evenings there's even a few of us in chat. You should come join us! Can't give you any advice on the meds though, never been prescribed any.

    Cindy
    Independent Beauty Consultant
    www.marykay.com/cynthiaalarcon

  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper luvscraping's Avatar
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    Like everyone has said so far we are here for you. I too went through a divorce because he decided to cheat on me, but I feel like this was meant to be, even though it had taken me a few years after the divorce to see that but when I gave birth to my second child, I knew then and there it was meant to be because I would not have had a second child. It will take time to heal but in the end there will be something wonderful that will happen to you and you will know that if things worked out differant this would not have happen. I hope I made since. God works in ways we don't understand until it is time for us to understand them.

    As for the medicane, they put me on buspur (I think that is spelled wrong) do to stress and depression because I had out burst of anger when my ex and I split and it seemed to help me cope a little better with it, but not all medicans work the same with everyone, just make sure you talk to Dr about how you feel with taking them and see if there is an alternative.

    Best of luck and will be praying for you and your little ones.

    big hugs to you

  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper Dianacraftstoo's Avatar
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    Myra I am sorry to hear you are going thru this. I can not say I understand the pain and all the emotions because I have never gone thru this. Just remember we are here for you and come and talk whenever you need us. As for your meds please talk to your doctor about not taking them and see if there is something else you can do. Cause you have to think of your lovely DDs.
    big hugs to you and I will keep you and your girls in my thoughts and prayers.

    Diana
    Diana

  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper Penster (pjwlee)'s Avatar
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    Myra,
    I never been were you are so the only words I can say is we are here for you to vent. I will only say that I will keep good thoughts and send lots of love and prayers to and our DD's.
    Keep talking and we will listen and help where ever we can.
    Penny(pjwlee)
    penster
    "Always shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars!!!"
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world. " Ghandi

  9. #9
    Senior Scrapper Carli'sGrandma's Avatar
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    Myra,

    Divorce sucks and that is all there is to it. It hurts so many people but the one thing you should remember is that your Children are much better off coming from a broken home then living in one.

    As a therapist I can tell you that you are going thru a normal process with your feelings. You will come to a point where you will realise that you didn't cause any of this. One can not make another do anything they don't want to. Your husband chose to cheat on you rather than work out whatever problems/temptation(sp) he had. You didn't make him do it. And as for your friend well she also made the choice to do what she did. You deserve happiness in your life and the sooner you level off your own emotions the easier it will be for both you and your children.

    As far as the medications go. I suggest you take them and see how they can help you. Remember they are only temporary and can really be helpful to you. They will help you be a stronger parent for your kids during this difficult time. Also remember that if you find yourself not being helped by the meds to talk to your doctor because everyone reacts differently to different meds and there are many good ones you can try if these don't work for you. I must say that the meds your doctor prescribed are very good ones.

    I am sure you will get thru this in time and having all the wonderful support of friends online and in person can be helpful but you may want to seek out a therapist to help you work this all out.

    If you need to talk please feel free to pm me.

    Hugs,
    Donna
    Peace is the cure for all!

  10. #10
    Senior Scrapper
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    Myra, I hurt for you, I know this must be a terribly difficult time, but God has promised us that He will not give us more than we can handle (although sometimes I want to ask Him what He decides is enough - lol) and also that He will never leave us.

    I haven't had this specific problem, but due to lots of circumstances in the last 5 years, lost everything we owned and I am presently living with my daughter. It is so easy to say, what did I do wrong?, and 12 years ago when my daughter become pregnant at 18, that was my only thought - what did I do wrong? - I finally had to give it up and realize that although I had done the very best I could to teach my children good morals, and how to make good decisions, ultimately, you cannot make their decisions for them.

    I guess I said all this to say that I've had enough going on, especially in the last several years that at times my depression is like you said - don't want to come out of my room, be around anyone, or deal with anything. I am on medication, effexor and wellbutrin, and I would have to say that I don't think I could have managed without it, although I still hate it that I have to take it.

    There's no shame in taking something that will help you through this period. Try to think about yourself and take care of yourself during this time, as well as your children. I know you are strong and can make this through.

    You will be in my prayers.
    Lynn


 

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