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  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    How do these people survive?

    ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have
    six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
    picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the
    things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

    THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

    FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
    "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

    FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
    photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

    SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

    SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

    EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa . interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
    detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
    dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
    emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
    dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine . The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

    Life is tough .
    It's tougher if you're stupid
    "Smile, it will increase your face value"
    bonnie


  2. #2
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    Bonnie......I stopped by to see what was going on during my lunch and I want to thank you for some really good laughs

  3. #3
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    I love these they made me rofl When I was a little girl my mother worked as a floor shopper at a dept store . She said she was following an oveweight woman who she suspected was shoplifting Pretty soon she saw a cord drop from between her legs. She had stuck a small tv between her legs and if the cord had not dropped she would have gotton away with it.

  4. #4
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    These are too funny! Thanks for a good laugh!!

  5. #5
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    Bonnie - OMG,these are 2 funny. Thanks for the laugh!

    Oniska - That one really got me! My DD dated a guy who was security at a large mall in Syracuse,NY while he went through the police acadamy-& oh my the stories he would tell!

    I have 2 along these lines:


    1- I was in JC Penney's looking for a prom gown for my DD. She found a lovely gown but they didn't have it in her size. SO I went over to the sales associate (who was maybe late in her 50's) and asked her if she could check & see if they had the dress in that size at any of the other stores. She said "Sorry I can't do that the computer is down." I said " Does the phone still work ?"(which was ringing at the time!)She looked totally baffled and I had to tell her to call the other stores on the phone!!

    I would have expected that from a teenager!


    2- I was in the health & beaty section of WalMart, and at the end of the aisle they have those little teeny gray baskets w/ WalMart on the sides for you to carry your small items in like lipstick, nail polish etc. . The girl at the check out tried to ring it up. Was totally baffled that the store had them.

    3- Also in Walmart, a teenaged cashier picked up 2 of my fresh vegetables and asked me "What the heck are these things??" They were green onions and radishes! Then she proceeded to charge me $6.00 for the small bunch of onions because she couldn't find the code!! I don't think so honey!


  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    LOL - and to think these people could be our future world leaders!
    bonnie


  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    NOT!!!
    bonnie


  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper tlc3plus's Avatar
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    Thanks!!! For the Laugh!!

    Clarinda
    Clarinda

    Mom of three
    Nanna of three

  9. #9
    Senior Scrapper thecountryrose's Avatar
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    Talk about world leaders? All I can say is...that is scary! Seriously scary.

    I have one to add though and this is supposedly a true story. My DH sometimes gives golf lessons and one day he was giving a young man a lesson and the young man told my DH something that his sister did. She looked on the computer and it said, 'you have mail', so she went to the mailbox. Hopefully, he was just kidding.

  10. #10
    Senior Scrapper LoriS.'s Avatar
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    If you ever doubt that these stories are true just try telling a cashier oh I do have the change and hand them a nickle when you've allready given them a 5 for a 2.05 sale. You get one of two responses 1)I've allready pressed in the five or 2)blank stare. Last time this happend to me I just couldn't help myself I had to ask "do they still teach math in school? Maybe it's just an elective now eh?" guess what response I got??? You guessed it blank stare


 

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