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  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper AVONCHICK's Avatar
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    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD...?....?...?...?
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    GEORGE W BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ANDERSON COOPER -- CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
    __________________________________________________ __________________
    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra . . . #@&&^( C . . . reboot.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?______________________________________________ __

  2. #2
    Senior Scrapper AVONCHICK's Avatar
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    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD...?....?...?...?
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    OPRAH:
    Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    GEORGE W BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ANDERSON COOPER -- CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
    __________________________________________________ __________________
    NANCY GRACE:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra . . . #@&&^( C . . . reboot.
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
    __________________________________________________ ______________________
    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?
    __________________________________________________ ________________
    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?______________________________________________ __

  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    T-O-O-O-O-o funny! The only sad thing is that there are others who believe all that gibberish!!
    Judith

  4. #4
    Senior Scrapper
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    LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper Baseballmom's Avatar
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    I LOVE IT!! Too funny!


  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper ziggyeor's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laugh this morning. I needed it after viewing my credit card statment

    Ziggy

  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper
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    Fingerlakes Region, NY
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    Shannon-that was just too funny! Thanks!



  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper judyjay's Avatar
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    Oh, love it! I've got to copy this to send to my sister!!
    Judy


    Check out my scrappy blog at http://scrap-a-doodlestamping.blogspot.com/

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

  9. #9
    Senior Scrapper AVONCHICK's Avatar
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    Glad you all liked it. Got a kick out of it myself.

  10. #10
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!!
    Cindy
    Independent Beauty Consultant
    www.marykay.com/cynthiaalarcon


 

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