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  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper kray's Avatar
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    Why, oh why, oh why?

    ......do I have to have difficult stepchildren.

    I have completely stepped back from the stepkids as they have created some damage in my marriage and as well as their mom's marriage. (also, there are other issues too).

    I needed to stepback because I am tired of being the scapegoat.

    Last night, I was in my scraproom and putting stuff away. I needed to use my markers for something and I noticed them gone. They are on a carasel on my desk.....the whole group of them are gone....at least a dozen. So, I know that my stepdaughter, 14, took them. She gets into my glitter and also uses my Cricut spatula without permission.

    I had told Tony before that she needs to ask.....but because there have been so many issues, I am not saying too much right now. But, this really made me mad. I know that Sara took them with her back to her mom's house as I can't find them in the bedroom. I would not put it past her to "hide" them, but this would be something she wouldn't hide. She has not hidden the other stuff she has used.

    I kept debating to tell Tony or not as I am stepping away.....but when I took him to work this morning at 430, I was still irritated. So, I ended up saying something to him about it.

    I chose my words wisely.....I simply told him I don't care that Sara uses my scrappy supplies, however, she has not been asking and has been taking things and using them. She now has my markers, which were not cheap and I needed them last night. All he said was "ok".

    I wanted to yell, shout and scream at him to make him do something with his out of control kids, but that would put us steps backwards, so I didn't. That would have been my "emotion" talking.

    Don't they know "not to mess with scrappers" stuff???? lol.

    We will not see Sara until Monday. Tony is going to get her Monday night, then she can visit with Grandpa. And we will pick her up after school on Tuesday for dinner.......oh.....Tony and Sara doesn't know what is going to hit them......Grandpa is going to get after his granddaughter about her behavior and then go after Tony for allowing it.......lol.

    After 4 1/2 years of marriage and not saying anything to Tony's family, I finally went to his father for advice....so, his Dad knows everything. Also, he is not blind to his grandkids. He even says they are undisciplined and spoiled!

    But.....that just makes me mad for her to take my markers!!!! She is likely using them.....but should have asked first and also not take them at al.

    Ok....done venting now.
    Karen.... Gramma to Miss Lillyanna Emilee and Zachariah Lee ♥♥♥

    http://kray-becomingabigtimescrapper.blogspot.com

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  2. #2
    Senior Scrapper QuesMom's Avatar
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    Make is simple, go to Wal-Mart and buy a locking door knob and lock your room! Plain and simple a thief is a thief, borrowing is one thing, taking them is another, treat her like one!
    Karen

    The little voices in my head keep saying..."Get more Chickens!"


    ...The difference between *life* and *living*...When you have someone close, someone special, a *Best Friend*, it's *Living*...When you lose her...it's just *Life*...
    ....Perhaps they are not stars in the sky....But rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy....
    ...FAITH is the bridge between where I AM...and where GOD is taking me...



  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Karen hit it on the nose. Lock up your stuff so she can't get to it. If Tony asks what is going on, Tell him that you're tired of the situation, so you are protecting your stuff.

    And...you have difficult step children because they have parents who aren't parenting!!
    Judith

  4. #4
    Senior Scrapper kray's Avatar
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    Regarding the grandpa thing, my father in law lives back East and is coming out this week for a visit. He doesn't put up with the misbehavior. So, that will be entertaining to watch....lol.

    Karen, you are right.....in hindsight, I should have taken a tougher approach. I was too nice and wanting to make sure I was the best stepmom out there and got taken advantage of. Tony and his ex created monsters and everyone around them is miserable as they get away with things.

    I now see that I should not have been so nice and sensitive and been tougher and not let them railroad and manipulate like they did.

    As Tony is now being forced to deal with his monsters, I am trying to take the spotlight off of me....I am not going to be that scapegoat anymore....take their argument away.

    I tell ya....I should have my own reality show....I would be a multi-millionaire.
    Karen.... Gramma to Miss Lillyanna Emilee and Zachariah Lee ♥♥♥

    http://kray-becomingabigtimescrapper.blogspot.com

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  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper Beatlesgrljen's Avatar
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    I absolutely agree about locking the room. It seems extreme, but it will get the point across to both of them. I had a similar problem with my boyfriends daughter (who lived with us) She would come into our room, and routinely 'borrow' my clothes ..shoes..without asking.. and she WOULD hide them.. i very rarely told him about her behavior..as he often dismissed it at no big deal..
    Which made me feel petty and childish for being bothered.
    But then he caught her.. literally sneaking out of our room with a sweater in her hand..
    HE eventually put a lock on our bedroom door.
    It didn't solve the bigger problems concerning her.. but it helped. Its not fun being the one to show someone their child isnt exactly what they see..
    I hope i haven't butted in here too much.. being the new girl and all..
    Goals for 2011..NOW 2012....now 2013..

    Finish DisneyWorld 2008 Scrapbook ..<yep, still haven't done it!
    Finish Alaska 2010 Scrapbook... 8 pages done! <or this..
    Finish 2010 Cruise Scrapbook.. woohoo.. 12 out of 20 completed!!....grrrr


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  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper kray's Avatar
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    B....you did not butt in at all. I need other's perspectives as it gets difficult at times.

    Judith, I missed your post. You are right.....the parents are not "parenting". And....it is now catching up to both of them. They have created monsters and these monsters are hard to control now. Tony and his ex are now having to deal with the consequences of their non-parenting.
    Karen.... Gramma to Miss Lillyanna Emilee and Zachariah Lee ♥♥♥

    http://kray-becomingabigtimescrapper.blogspot.com

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  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper Cass17's Avatar
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    could you have DH call her and ask where they are because you need them? or would she lie and say she didn't take them?
    I would put a lock on the door, too.

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  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper laurat99's Avatar
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    Lock the door and have Tony call her and say, "Karen's missing her scrapbook markers and believes you have them. Please bring them back on Monday." Make him deal with the drama.
    Laura

  9. #9
    Senior Scrapper kray's Avatar
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    Oh, I think Tony should follow up on the markers....however, I know he won't. Sara will lie about it and then her mom and her 21 yr old brother would stick their nose into it and create more drama. And Tony is not dealing with anything.

    But, on the other hand, I can almost see Sara saying she has the markers and won't bring them back.....she will flat out tell him no. She has done that a few times on him.....telling him no. He gets after her, but doesn't follow through.

    She is a very fiesty 14 yr old girl. I hate to say this.....she is the bully.


    I now have my things put up where she can't get to them. I forgot about my stickles several months ago.....she was using them for her toenails......I hid those....I knew she didn't like that, but I took care of that. So.....no more glitter, stickles, cricut spatula and any other writing instruments I have....she can get a hold of.

    Also, several months ago, she and her brother would use up all the towels in their bathroom and would not wash them.....so, I took the majority of the towels and put them up in my closet....so, they were forced to either wash their towels or use their dirty ones.....I would not wash them.

    I know I should not beat myself up over this....but in hindsight....I wish was was tough right at the beginning!
    Karen.... Gramma to Miss Lillyanna Emilee and Zachariah Lee ♥♥♥

    http://kray-becomingabigtimescrapper.blogspot.com

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  10. #10
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Hindsight is always better than foresight, so don't beat yourself up about what you should have done and let today be the first day of the rest of your life. Begin today how you plan to go from now on. Don't play into any of their drama. Protect yourself and your stuff. Leave the drama to Tony. When he gets good and tired of it, he'll do something about it. All you can do is hope that it isn't too late.
    Judith


 

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