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  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper gailteach's Avatar
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    HELP!!! I need advice.

    My son took my credit card and made multiple purchases on Playstation Network. He used his Playstation 3 and WiFi to make the purchases. DH is fit to be tied and I am caught in the middle. I want him to be punished but DH wants him to be locked up. I spoke to my credit card company and they declined the purchases. The I spoke to Playstation Network and they have completely blocked his Playstation from all access to their network until he pays for what he ordered. I feel like he has been punished. He doesn't have any friends and the people he talks to on-line are the only friends he has. I know how connected a person can be to internet friends. I hurts me because I know he is hurting. I am so torn up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Hugs to all of you!
    Gail

    So little time, sooo many projects!

    Stop by and see me at my blog:
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  2. #2
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    It's hard to say when you've never been in that situation before. How old is your son? I'd be inclined to just take it away. I mean I would literally bust it up and throw it in the trash while my kid watched me do it! Is this the first time that something like this has ever happened? If it is, then it is possible that what has been done is enough punishment. But you and hubby need to talk privately and come to an agreement about his punishment so that it doesn't become one parent against the other.

  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper gailteach's Avatar
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    Thanks for answering so quickly Cindy. James is chronologically almost 16. Socially/emotionally he is closer to 12. He has ADHD, Aspbergers, anxiety disorder to name a few. It is a tough one.
    Hugs to all of you!
    Gail

    So little time, sooo many projects!

    Stop by and see me at my blog:
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  4. #4
    Senior Scrapper kray's Avatar
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    This is definitely tough Gail. Are you saying DH wants your son locked up, or did you mean the playstation? If you are meaning to have your son locked up....where is he thinking? I don't think that would be the answer. Do you think your DH will calm down after awhile?

    I would definitely think a punishment/grounding is needed, however, I know about the disability your son has, and I can't pretend I understand your daily struggles.

    I wish I had an answer for you on this one.

    My heart is breaking for you at the moment. There may be a few other gals here understanding of your son's disabilities and may have some good solutions for you.

    Please let us know how it goes.

    Have you tried some support groups in your area, or even online? Dailystrength.Org is a good website as they have so many support groups and you may be able to find a forum that fits with the needs of your son.

    Oh, my heart is breaking for you.
    Karen.... Gramma to Miss Lillyanna Emilee and Zachariah Lee ♥♥♥

    http://kray-becomingabigtimescrapper.blogspot.com

    Tally for 2015
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  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper Cyndi's Avatar
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    So sorry Gail, heartbreaking for all of you. If he understands the right from wrong he does need a punishment, but it need to be something that he understands very easy.

    Can you give him extra chores or things that he can do to earn extra computer stuff that ya'll purchase after he can show you he has done everything.

    You know show him that he has to work for and earn extra, that you can't just take what you want.

    If he watches much t.v., then he has seen that magic card (credit card) that everyone gets stuff with.
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    Cyndi....

    Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper laurat99's Avatar
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    Gail, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. If the Playstation is the carrot that you can reward/punish him with, I would take it away for a set period of time, maybe a week. Yes, I understand this will be as tough on you as it is on him, but you have to get the point across that taking and using your credit card without permission IS NOT ok. Just telling him so won't get the point across.

    Not having access to his internet friends will be punishment enough, but you need to stand firm. What he did wasn't right, and he needs to know that his actions affected the whole family, including you. You can't take away his hurt and punishment or he won't learn this lesson.

    Let us know how it all goes, we are here for you and this is a safe place to vent.
    Laura

  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    The only other thing I can think to add is that you have to make sure the punishment is age appropriate to his mental age. And make sure he knows that if he ever does something like this again, next time the punishment will be more severe. But I think that what has been done already is probably enough.

  8. #8
    Senior Scrapper QuesMom's Avatar
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    Gail knowing some of your son's problems...I agree with Laura about the punishment...The are more aware of right and wrong than we give credit for, and will use that excuse if we allow it...You do need to provide a united front with DH to your son so he completely understands this is not acceptable to either of you and that you are in agreement on the pounishment...
    Karen

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    ...The difference between *life* and *living*...When you have someone close, someone special, a *Best Friend*, it's *Living*...When you lose her...it's just *Life*...
    ....Perhaps they are not stars in the sky....But rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy....
    ...FAITH is the bridge between where I AM...and where GOD is taking me...



  9. #9
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Gail, Laura, Cindy and Karen's advice is really right on. My 35 yro had ADHD with out the other problems, so I can understand some of your problems. A 12 yro mentality understands not being able to have things as punishment, so the fact that he can't have what he ordered without paying for it will help. I suggest that you limit the use of his playstation for a period of time. Maybe let him use it 2 hrs a day for maybe a week.
    Judith

  10. #10
    Senior Scrapper gailteach's Avatar
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    Thank you all so much.
    DH is a very honorable man and hates cheating and lying. He was worried about fraud charges and felt that the scare of James being locked up would scare him straight. I am so tired of always having to be the level headed one. I have thought of nothing else since yesterday. James can't get a job right now. He doesn't get along with others. I am trying to work out a system where he can earn money for his positive behavior. With James I have to put everything in writing and have all three of us to sign it.

    Your support mean more than you will ever know.
    Hugs to all of you!
    Gail

    So little time, sooo many projects!

    Stop by and see me at my blog:
    www.gailgsgoodies.blogspot.com


 

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