Gail,
I understand we are going thru something similar with my Mom.
Her mind is ok but she is basiclly paralyzed from waist down and limited use of hands. we had no choice but to put her in care center. With only 2 of us to take care of her and small quarters there just was not a good way to do what was best for her. If it was just care but we needed so much equipment to help take care of her, oxygen, lift, hosp bed etc.. We keep in touch by phone and visit 1-2 times a week.

With out outside help and you can't do it alone-- and you put you and your family in such a bad place, you will know when its right to make the choice and then you can visit and have better memories with no other feelings getting in the way.

While the care center is not our 1st choice you have to do what is best for them and yourself.
Take care remember there are others out there going thru this , reach out they understand. It help to talk to others.
God bless