American Idol Lovers

[mommaidwf]

See if you can read this. It's an article that appeared in today's paper. The Idol tour was here in our area last night. This is SO FUNNY! Click on where you can see idol in the top middle of the page and it should make it bigger so you can see it.

http://epilot2.hamptonroads.com/Default/Skins/Virginian...0334742265&AppName=1

[judyjay]

I tried clicking but all I got was it wanting me to subscribe. Couldn't make the article bigger.

[jujuann]

I couldn't get it either.

[mommaidwf]

Here it is. It is SSOOOO funny!

‘Idol’ tour: Murder at the Hampton Coliseum
By Malcolm Venable The Virginian-Pilot
Malcolm Venable, (757) 446-2662 [email protected]



Many beloved songs by American artists were murdered during the “American Idols Live” tour at the Hampton Coliseum Tuesday night as thousands looked on helplessly. In fact, many seemed to enjoy it.
The culprits were finalists from the Fox television show “American Idol.” Chesapeake’s Chris Richardson was inconsistent, sometimes aiding and abetting the criminals and at other times bringing fantastic relief.
Themurderweaponsincluded flat singing, wanton disregard for proper notes and keys, lifeless choreography and reckless vocal runs.
Security officers and police inside the arena did nothing to stop the massacre, despite the continual, piercing screams of young women and children, who watched the tragedy unfold over a few hours. Besides the songs, no one was seriously injured.
Assaults began around 7 p.m. when, one by one, the final 10 contestants from the show took the stage singing Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get It Started.” Blake Lewis, the first runner-up on the program, appeared first. Seconds later Jordin Sparks, the show’s winner, and a rapping Richardson joined Lewis. Their rendition of the song promised a pleasant evening; these promises were stolen. Remaining vocalists, including Sanjaya Malakar and Chris Sligh, began pummeling the song.
The brutality paused briefly for the next number, a Motown tribute by top-notch singers LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle. They sang “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” and then “Stop! In the Name of Love,” for which they were joined by Richardson.
Throughout his performances, which included a short solo set and a duet with Lewis, Richardson vacillated between forceful knockouts and tepid, lukewarm versions, so much so that it was occasionally hard to hear him. “Stop” was an example of the latter.
Doolittle and Jones, however were easily heard and should be commended for attempting to rescue a show that was limping toward certain death. Likewise, Phil Stacey delivered a shockingly good version of “America the Beautiful” that rivaled Michael McDonald on a good night.
If Doolittle and Jones were the ailing show’s nurses, then Sparks was its life-saving surgeon. She’s got a great voice.
Though she lacks the stage charisma of Richardson, she’s learning. Together, the duo did a version of “What Hurts the Most” with both playing acoustic guitar; she rocked it.
Sparks also pumped force into “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” with Jones. But murder most foul crept around the corner.
Lewis performed torture by beat-boxing – first in a toolong set by himself, then later in a beat-box battle with Richardson.
At another point, the stage darkened and music from “Thriller” cued, with a figure emerging from the shadows. It was … Sanjaya, come to bludgeon “The Way You Make Me Feel,” and do a cruel moonwalk that was like a note at a crime scene: placed just to taunt onlookers.
An all-female minigroup did “Lady Marmalade,” complete with “Moulin Rouge”-inspired costumes, adding extra years of punishable crimes to the list.
A band formed of “Idol” men – Stacey on keys, Richardson on drums, Lewis and Sligh on guitar and Sanjaya on tambourine – played songs including Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” and “Hey Jude.” By then, it became apparent that few songs would escape the ordeal alive.
Motives for the senseless attacks remain unclear, but speculation is rampant that corporate profit-milking is largely at fault. Witnesses report that the perpetrators likely did not intend to cause such carnage. However, experts on the subject have continually held that good intentions pave the road to hell.

[judyjay]

Cindy, you are right. This is funny! Thanks for posting it where we could read it.