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Thread: Old Age Wisdom

  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper AVONCHICK's Avatar
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    Old Age Wisdom

    A medical doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

    "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
    killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
    Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is
    loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
    none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
    in our drinking water."

    "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and
    we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what
    food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years
    after eating it?"

    After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front
    row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

    ************************************************** ***********************************

    An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

    At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to
    locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

    "You have been to France before, monsieur?", the customs
    officer asked, sarcastically.

    The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France
    previously.

    "Then you should know enough to have your passport
    ready."

    The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have
    to show it."

    "Impossible. Americans always have to show their
    passports on arrival in France!"

    The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look.

    Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at
    Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country,
    I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

    ************************************************** ***********************************

    Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at
    the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy
    25 year- old blonde, who knocks everyone's socks off with her
    youthful sex appeal and charm.

    She hangs onto Bob's arm, and listens intently to his every
    word.

    His buddies at the club are all aghast.

    At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how
    did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

    Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

    They're amazed, but continue to ask, "So, how did you
    persuade her to marry you?"

    "I lied about my age", Bob replies.

    "What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

    Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

    ************************************************** ****************************************

    A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
    Holland.

    As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them
    through the process of cheese making, explaining that
    goat's milk was used.

    She showed the group a lively hillside,where many goats
    were grazing.

    "These", she explained, "are the older goats, put out to
    pasture when they no longer produce."

    She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old
    goats?"

    A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus
    tours!"

  2. #2
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    Shannon - Thanks for my morning laugh !


  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper nanamsc's Avatar
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    lmao thanks shannon, need a good laugh this morning.
    *Mary*

  4. #4
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    I love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    Funny!!!
    Judith


 

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