Old Age Wisdom

**AVONCHICK** · 06-13-2007, 01:15 PM

Old Age Wisdom

A medical doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is
loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water."

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and
we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what
food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years
after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front
row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

************************************************** ***********************************

An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to
locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?", the customs
officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France
previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport
ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have
to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show their
passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at
Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country,
I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

************************************************** ***********************************

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at
the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy
25 year- old blonde, who knocks everyone's socks off with her
youthful sex appeal and charm.

She hangs onto Bob's arm, and listens intently to his every
word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast.

At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how
did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're amazed, but continue to ask, "So, how did you
persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age", Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

************************************************** ****************************************

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
Holland.

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them
through the process of cheese making, explaining that
goat's milk was used.

She showed the group a lively hillside,where many goats
were grazing.

"These", she explained, "are the older goats, put out to
pasture when they no longer produce."

She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old
goats?"

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus
tours!"