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Thread: Walmart

  1. #1
    Senior Scrapper sbartist's Avatar
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    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas (I don't know if the above is true or not, but I am posting it anyway).

    They hired him because he was so funny...

    NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
    bonnie


  2. #2
    Senior Scrapper thecountryrose's Avatar
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    LOL! How funny!

  3. #3
    Senior Scrapper mommaidwf's Avatar
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    I've seen this several times before, and it is still funny!
    Cindy
    Independent Beauty Consultant
    www.marykay.com/cynthiaalarcon

  4. #4
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    lol I feel like that sometimes

  5. #5
    Senior Scrapper jujuann's Avatar
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    I hope they hired him. He would make my trips to WM more enjoyable!!
    Judith

  6. #6
    Senior Scrapper tracyf80's Avatar
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    thats so funny.
    thanks for posting it
    Tracy
    Tracy

    goals for 2010
    Organize my photos
    Organize phote files on computer
    Scrapbook for myself
    catch up on scrapbooking old photos
    make all the cards I need for the year

  7. #7
    Senior Scrapper ScrappySam's Avatar
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    That is so funny - loved it! TFS sam

  8. #8
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    LOL!! That's hilarious


 

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