View Full Version : Deciding to make a card for Wicked

04-10-2010, 04:25 AM
I am making birthday cards for family birthdays for April. There is only one birthday in May and that is my 20 yr old stepson.

I do not want to make a card because of all the disrespect he has given me. Also, he made sure I was shut out at Christmas time at the gift thing. The wickeds didn't get me a Christmas gift.....I didn't care, however, it was the meaning behind why I didn't get one. I think everyone here knows how wicked my "wickeds" are.

So.....part of me is wanting to send him a card to his Mom's house.....just to be the nice person I am and I don't leave anyone out.....Also, yes, part of me is wanting to be onery and shove it to him that I am a nice person. By his attitude, he is not changing me in being nice. But.....I really do have to admit....I want to be onery about sending him one. It is his 21st birthday. (he already has one DUI from October....now he will be legal to drink)

The other part of me is not to send one at all. Which this one I am leading to as I am pretty much shutting myself off from him. He is an adult and I don't have to associate with him anymore and it's known we don't like each other.

So......what do y'all think.....send a card, being the nice person I am? Or not send the card? Shut him out? THe card would be signed by me and hubby. Hubby will still give him money for his birthday.....it is his bio son, so he will do something no matter what.

04-10-2010, 06:22 AM
So......what do y'all think.....send a card, being the nice person I am? Or not send the card? Shut him out? THe card would be signed by me and hubby. Hubby will still give him money for his birthday.....it is his bio son, so he will do something no matter what.

Sorry you said it yourself here. "The nice person you are".

There is alway a chance in about 5 years or so that he will grow up and turn into a person you can like. :)

04-10-2010, 07:31 AM
Send something that isn't too elaborate, but took a little time. Have Tony put the money in that so at least the Wicked has to touch it. Be the bigger person here.

04-10-2010, 08:09 AM
Of course you make a card! You are the *Mom* and we always do the right thing...

Like Laura said, I would not put hours into it, but yes, you need to make them cards...

04-10-2010, 08:18 AM
why don't you just buy him a cheap cheesy one from the dollar store and give everyone else, nice handmade ones. ha ha. I'm only kidding.
I would be the better person and make a card.

04-10-2010, 07:39 PM
Some family members, especially the guys, I don't put too much effort in as they just put it to the side.

I will make him a simple one.....hey.....the "nice" person I am. I will make Tony sign it too, along w/ the money.

My stepson may mellow out as he matures, but I really don't think he will change his arrogance about him. His mother, two uncles and grandfather have that arrogance about them. And his grandfather is 70. What is ironic about it, Stepson's grandmother loves me and I asked Tony about her. He told me she has always been a compassionate and caring woman. I really like her. Sad, that her three children and two grandchildren took after her husband.

I have met stepson's mom's side of the family through the kids activities.

And another thing sending the card....it shows I am not going to play his silly game with him. I just thank God he doesn't live with us. lol.

04-10-2010, 08:05 PM
Kray - you know the answer.....
Love you,

04-10-2010, 08:57 PM
Okay I would make a card and give it to Tony to decide whether to give him the nice card of a cheesy one from the dollar store.

Part of me really says, "Don't give the sh-- anything." He doesn't deserve your efforts.

04-10-2010, 09:24 PM
I say you are thinking to hard.... Do it or dont, simple really. myself if you have to ask then you truly in your heart dont want to do it... If you have to do it to show you are a nice person, thats not true, you already know you are nice, shouldnt have to prove it. you have to send something or the wedge with you and your husband will grow deeper cause it is his son. Evil as they maybe he loves them, you are in a hard spot. You should make a card if you buy a card it might hurt your husband becuase you make card and if you store buy one he will know you are trying to be rude cause its his son. I am not there but from what you say he is close to his kids, so make a card and give it to tony to send out. he'll know you tried and he is the one you love and have to live with, so just try to make each other happy.

04-11-2010, 02:04 AM
There is a very long story on this kid. Fortunately, I don't have to see him that much anymore.

He is a "black cloud" for everyone right now.

So....simply I am going to keep on doing what I do....make cards for everyone. I just won't put that much effort into it. Still be cute, but only take 10 minutes to make. Have a strip in the middle with a circle stamped happy birthday. I have done this one many times for the guys. They like them.

04-11-2010, 03:53 AM
Kay... I knew U would do that... but I was very pleased with every ones response! lol And so understand your delima!


04-11-2010, 11:12 AM
glad to hear you made your decision, you will be happy at the end thats all that matter, you tried. Got to take care of you.

04-11-2010, 11:20 PM
Thanks for everyone's responses. Staying true to myself.

04-12-2010, 10:58 PM
Karen, I agree with everything that's been said, with one exception. Make the card, give it to it to Tony to sign. My DH has finally, after 25 yrs, decided to give his kids, "my wickeds", a pass. He woke up and decided that he was no longer going to tolerate their treatment of me. So give Tony time. He will probably come to the same decision.

In the meantime, learn to ignore them and their nastiness. You will feel better too.

04-13-2010, 09:11 PM
Thanks Judith, I know you have been there, done that too.

I have finally gotten to the point I don't care if they like me or not.....now, working on the "ignoring' part.